It's so true....LIFE IS CRAZY! Sometimes it gets so hard you want to give up. Give up on everyone, and everything. So I think its time for me to blog about what's been happening in my crazy life.Most people know we have been traveling A LOT since we've been married and I don't just mean Utah to Colorado and now in Nevada, I mean the moves in-between. We have not been stable anywhere for longer than 3 months since we've been married. Is it because of Jori's job that is making us travel so much? No, it isn't that at all. I mean honestly his job has only made us move three times and that's not bad at all considering its a sales job. I used to blame Jori for our moving situation...which caused unnecessary fights, which then caused me to just leave and go back to Idaho where my family and friends were. I left numerous times since we have been married thinking I wanted to quit, that it wasn't worth the fight.
Anyway, things happened in between and we have had plenty of other problems that got in the way of our marriage. One incident that took us over the edge while we were in Durango made us both realize we didn't want to try and work out our marriage anymore. We were done and ready for divorce. We were separated (which wasn't new, it seemed like we were always separated) This time was the first time it was "for real" we had never been so sure that we wanted to end it. We talked about what each other wanted(vehicles, furniture, time with tayzli, etc..) We never did that before. It was hard to believe we were really going to go through with divorce, but at the time I figured its what we both wanted and needed.
After a while Jori decided he was going to bring the car to Idaho from Colorado because it was hard for me with tazyli not having a car to get around in. When he got to Idaho we talked and came to the conclusion that we were NOT going to quit. We talked about conseling and other things we both needed to do in order to make the marriage work, and actually follow through with those things. Not go right back to our old ways. And lets just say it was the biggest relief to know that I wasn't going to have to be a single mother. Not that I couldn't do it, deep down I just never want to do that.
Well before I knew we were going to get back together, I had already planned on taking a CNA course so Jori left and I moved to Utah and lived with my amazing sister Courtney, her husband Jeff and their adorable kids, Raelei, Adler, and Kanden. I'm so grateful to them for being so understanding and taking me in the way they did.
To make a long story short...I finished my CNA course and now WE are in Las Vegas, yes the three of us are together again!!!
I seriously could not be happier with my decision to be with Jori again, I know there are people very disappointed in me right now but I hope they can see where I'm coming from and will someday be willing to forgive me. Especially Mom and Dad....I know you want whats best for me, all you want is to see me happy! Jori is what makes me happy, and being together as a family makes me happy. You two have always bent over backwards for me and I couldn't be more grateful for that. You've always given me everything I've ever ask for, and plenty more! So thats why I hope you will eventually want to support my decision and be in mine and especially in tayzli's life again. We all love you and miss you so much!!
When I talked to Jori's mom a few weeks ago there is something she said to me that has really stuck with me. She told me how there has been plenty of times where she could have just walked away from her marriage...but shes not a quitter. I realized I wanted to have that same attitude. Things get really hard sometimes but if they are fixable problems then why not try? Thank you Jana for the support and not being biased whenever we would talk! I heard sooo many people tell me not to take the easy way out(meaning go back with jori because it was easier) but what they didnt realize when they said that I was thinking just the opposite. NOT trying and giving up would be the easy way out. I want to at least say I tried my hardest and did whatever I could to make it work....because I haven't done that until now.
If there is one main thing I learned from this ..I learned that I still have TONS of growing up to do. Although I have grown so much in the last year, there is still plenty of growing up and learning that I have to do. I'm just glad I get to do that with my best friend.
Well shoot...now that I got all of that out why dont I tell you about some more things that aren't so depressing? ;)
Yesterday (Sunday March 6th) Jori got tickets to the NASCAR race here in Vegas. I have only been here a few days so I was excited to get out and do something fun!!
I can't exactly say I was WAY excited when Jori said NASCAR race. Its almost like him asking me if I wanted to go watch him golf or something......boring! But I have to admitt that we had such a fun time!!
I didnt even understand anything about nascar racing....just thought whoever went around the track first won, which technically is true but there are rules I didnt know existed. It was a fun experience and I'm glad I went. We are planning on going to the one in Phoenix and we want Jana and Dula to come with us!!!!