Feeling Guilty

It's been almost two weeks since we've been here in Colorado and I will admitt that I actually do like it here. Which is surprising because I thought I'd be wanting and begging Jori to let us go back home. I KNOW one reason I like it here is because Jake and Kasia are here and live just right across from us! I LOVE kasia. Jake tried this insulation thing out before in Utah and it didn't work out but he decided to give it a shot here in Colorado. I really hope they stay because Kasia has become one of my really good friends, she's so easy to talk to, and fun be with... and not to mention we both have someone to hang out with all day while the boys are gone. Another thing i'm looking forward to is Kevin and Heidi oh and Kaleigh ;) will be coming sometime soon. I know they are nervous about it but i CANT wait!! Besides the fact that Kev and Jori will probably spend WAY too much time together, it will give me and Heidi some girl time too!

Anyways, I dont really know why but for some reason I have been feeling guilty for just sitting at home all day. Jori works extremely hard all day and does an amazing job at supporting our little family. I feel like he does EVERYTHING and i'm just along for the ride. It doesn't seem fair. I'm torn because I want to work so then I feel like im putting in some effort for us as well, but I cant seem to grasp the thought of someone else taking care of tayzli. And not to mention that most of my paycheck would go straight to the day care. I dont know, Im really confused. I mean, I got my Phlebotomy certification so eventually I could work in a hospital and work nights. That was my plan, but nobody seems to hire anyone unless you've had at least 6 months of experience as a phlebotomist. So I've considered volunteering to get my experience, which brings me back to having to leave Tayzli. I know parents do it all the time, and i have nothing against parents letting other people raise their kids. I actually give you props for doing it. Maybe when Tayzli starts getting older I'll feel differently and wont feel like i need to be with her ALL of the time. But as of right now I just dont want to yet. I can barely even go to the grocery store without her and im already going insane wanting to hurry back to see her. Or calling Jori to make sure she's okay. Someone help me out! Am I just being a baby? Do I need to stop being lazy and go out and get a real job, not JUST a stay at home mom?

What good is a post without pictures? Here is a video for our families(mostly you jana hehe) I know you guys wish you could see her more but I'll make sure to keep posting videos and pictures of her so you dont miss out on ALL the fun.

I swear, she is a different girl the second I pull out the camera. Its like she KNOWS! and shes being shy. Im not joking, the second I put the camera away she starting smiling way big and makes tons of noises. So I'm sorry I couldnt get a very good video. Better than nothing though.I dont know why this picture went sideway but it was the closest thing to a smile that I got.

We made it!

Well, after about a ten hour drive...we finally made it to colorado! The drive wasn't as bad as i had anticipated but i definitely cant say i enjoyed it. Tayzli did GREAT! and im not just saying that to make people think she is such a good baby- but we only had to stop twice! (and we had to stop twice anyways to fill up on gas) Our apartment is really nice too. Its only a 1 bedroom 1 bath so that's rough because in utah we had two bedroom 2 bath apartment, but this one seems a lot bigger than other 1 bed 1 bath apartments. I'll put pictures up someday soon. The people here are a LOT different than in Idaho or Utah, weirder. haha. just kidding- we are probably weird to them. I dont think im ready to call this place home yet. Sometimes i feel like Rexburg will ALWAYS be home to me. I love it there. anyone that wants out is insane because i'd love if we could just stay there. But we cant. ;) so im gonna do my best here and try to keep a positive attitude here without all my friends and family! even though i WANT to be around them, i have tayzli and jori.... I dont NEED anything else.

Getting Tayzli to smile for the camera is a challenge because the only way to get her to smile right now is when she can see my face. apparently i have a funny lookin face :)

But i did it!!
She is starting to be so much fun, smiling and responding to our voices, facial expressions, and weird noises. (isnt it crazy the things we will do to get our babies to smile) She is also making tons of different noises, i swear she said hi back to me the other day. haha. Bath time is her FAVORITE!!! she can be screaming her head off about nothing and i can take her into the bathroom and turn on the water and she will be totally fine. I think she's a little spoiled. And although she may not look too happy in this picture, i promise you, she is!! Tayzli is scooting around a lot and TRYING to roll over, she hasn't quite figured it out yet...but she is trying. She sleeps through the night though!! Never thought it would happen so soon, every once in a while she will wake up maybe once. I love it. I honestly cant imagine live without her now. She isn't the easiest baby to take care of, shes stubborn just like her parents! But I wouldnt have it any other way. ;)

a look back.....

Okay, so this is a random blog post but its just something i wanted to do for kicks and giggles. I was looking through some old pictures and figured I could share just a few of our old memories together with everyone...

...if you read "our history" this picture was taken the day he came over when we MIGHT have kissed ;) they were sitting in the driveway of my house. I think this was when i was getting chewed out by my old boyfriend so i made them go outside and wait till the drama was over. haha good times!

Our first picture together, and our first time hanging out since he got home from his mission. As awkward as it SHOULD have been, it really wasn't at all. He had only been home for a few days...and look how dang skinny he looks!

..I will admitt THIS day was awkward. It started off with Jori's homecoming talk, i was tempted not to go but enough people finally convinced me enough to go with Eli. I mean, the actual talk and being at the church wasn't awkward (even though all the girls that were in LOVE with him were there). Well...we ALL went over to his parents house afterwards to eat. this is where it gets awkward for me. Living in such a small town everyone knew I had been in a serious relationship with joris ONLY enemy in the world. Lets just say a few people decided to give me crap while i was there. I wanted to leave SO bad, i felt so out of place!! then jana and erin called me into the kitchen and reassurred me that jori wanted me there and that i didnt need to feel uncomfortable. jori kept coming by me and giving me a little kiss or hug. which made me feel a LITTLE better. Anyways, two of his friends/old companions from the mission came and they wanted to go see the rexburg temple.......guess who jori asked to go with them...you betcha...it was me! probably the smartest thing he could have done ;) even though he went and talked to his ex afterwards that night, i wanted to get mad but i couldnt. im glad he did it, i think THAT was the reason me and him got closer.

thank goodness for christmas break! it seemed like we were together 24/7. I dont think i went home till 3 or 4 in the morning the whole break. we had so much fun just being together. OHHH...before i forget, right before i got out for christmas break, we had "the talk" you know, the one where you officially become a couple. haha well being jori and the tough guy he is-he tells me he is okay with me dating other people so he doesnt ruin my senior year, he just wanted me to have fun. (of course i was a little butt hurt about it but i just told him that was a good idea) Well...not even 5 minutes later he goes jamie i cant. i dont want to date other people i just want to be with you. haha awwhh cute huh? so we were officially together. and our relationship just went uphill from that point on.

Okay. maybe im kind of a dork too ;) We got bored one day, and i put some of his clothes on OVER my own clothes. he was proud to be dating such a gangSTAR! haha

Jason kev me and jori decided to go to the mall in layton, lets just say we know how to have fun! they were putting on all the girly sunglasses and taking pictures, it was hilarious.

-Neither one of us really like this picture BUT this is the night where our life REALLY began, you cant really tell but we were at temple square. and he PROPOSED!

And this was the day after he proposed, we went to lagoon with jason and allee.

we had a blast...

Jori-We have had so many good memories together! we have been through thick, we have been through thin. You see the best in me, you get me, you love me for me. You have been there for me when i was at my very worst, and i know that will never change. You've stuck around when no one else did and i cant thank you enough for that-and everything you do and sacrifice for me. You have no idea how much you mean to me. Jori, you have become my world, LITERALLY! Through our ups and downs i know we will always pull through, because nothing can keep us apart. You're irreplaceable, incredible, and amaze me every single day.

Jori's birthday

I had the hardest time trying to figure out what to do for jori's birthday, he never tells me what he wants so i finally decided to throw a surprise party at gringos! Here are some pictures for ya ;)

Jori is a die hard texas longhorns fan, so i knew i couldn't go wrong with this one!

Okay so the plan was for everyone else to get there around 7:30 and us at 8, well jori decides he wants to go golfing around 5 so im stressing out hoping he will be back in time. 7:30 comes around and he still isnt back, so i text him telling i wanted to go to gringos so he should hurry back cause i was hungry. and i told him to invite his friends so it wouldnt sound suspicious. Kev tells him that 8 sounds perfect to meet up (even though he was already at gringos) Eli told him he wasnt gonna make it. Jason wouldnt answer his phone calls. and Jake told him he was going to the sand dunes, lets just say jori was not a happy camper........when we got there kev heidi and kaleigh were waiting at the door for us then the hostess took us to the back room and there eveyone was....SURPRISE!! and all jori could say was "WHAT THE HECK" it was hilarious. i cant believe how many people actually came. THANK TO EVERYONE THAT SHOWED UP! it meant a lot!!

oh...i was way excited to see lindsey and josh! they just got engaged, congrats!!

Jori and i were talking after the party and he told me how excited and shocked he was about the party, he had so many clues about it and i thought for sure he would have found out!(thanks for keeping it a secret everyone) and he said he had never had a surprise party before and how much it meant to him, that made me feel way good ;)

trying to get jori to pay attention and stop talking in a picture is close to impossible! haha especially when all of his friends are around. so that explains this picture

the boys have literally been friends since grade school. ive never known a group of friends to be so close for so long even after highschool. they still have each others backs in every situation..its crazy! but i love it. and there is never a dull moment when they are all together. And that gave me another idea for jori's birthday....i got a hotel room for the guys, i figured they probably havent had just a boys night out in a LONG time. at least jori hasnt cause i know i was always there hanging out with them. Thanks girls for approving and letting them go!! They are there right now as im doing this and each of them are texting me telling me thanks and how much fun they are having so im WAAAYYY glad it worked out!

I'm dang sad we are going to colorado for a couple years because i wont be able to come home to idaho whenever i want. i LOVE family, i believe they are the best friends you could ever have so being away from both of our families is going to be really hard on me. but we have only heard good things about colorado so that makes me excited. Jori and i have been through a lot together good and bad...its been rough at times but i dont think this will be one of those rough experiences, i think it will really bring us closer together so how could i complain? I've never been good at meeting new people which makes me nervous for this move, i'm such a shy person and usually just stick with people im most comfortable with. Which is another reason i know jori and i were meant to be together, hes so NOT shy. and he is great with talking to complete strangers. We have talked about how we really need to go back to church, we both know its the right thing to do and we feel that life would just go a lot smoother if we started going again...and the friends we will make just by going and becoming new members in a ward will make the move easier as well. Plus, after having tayzli i cant imagine ONLY spending time on earth with her and jori........eternity doesnt even sound long enough for me ;) I LOVE YOU JORI AND TAYZ!<3